1/26
This holiday hell
that tiredly belle
hath finally fell;
a near death knell,
and recovered fairly well.
12/21
H2theizzO:
That abundant molecule
with lyrical filler
or, if Jay-Z
ever did bottled water.
(Circa 2001)
12/21
Definitional Implication:
Drawing from a 3cr philosophy background,
I will explain the relationship between
AXE body spray & MAXIM magazine.
If a man wears AXE body spray,
Then that man also reads MAXIM magazine.
Not all men who read MAXIM magazine,
wear AXE body spray.
But all men who wear AXE body spray,
read MAXIM magazine.
(Circa 2006)
12/6
If ever I have the financial means to do so
I will buy a tow truck,
and when I go out,
I will park it wherever the fuck I feel like.
(Hazards ablaze.)
12/2
Britney Spears tears,
Lady Gaga spins,
Ashley Simpson laughs,
much to my chagrin.
Cut to Karen O
but before I begin:
Sandie Shaw
Eurovision
1967
Fin.
11/23
East on the 10
Toward downtown Los Angeles:
At some point
it seems,
every single driver
collectively agrees,
“Fuck it, we’re going 80.”
They can’t ticket everyone,
really.
11/11
That warm toilet seat:
It is comfortable,
while not very
comforting.
10/22
t-x-t-m-s-g while d-r-v-i-n-g:
Save it
for a
stop light.
10/20
A friend of mine,
this one girl,
she’s trying to lose weight.
Two weeks in,
she doth begin
to look quite thin.
Always out-of-it,
while rarely ever out.
This one thing,
man,
she swears by it.
(But I can’t remember it’s name.)
What’s the name of that one thing?
(You know what I’m talking about.)
The one with the belt?
.
.The Lap-Band? (A
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And the weird canned food?
.
.Weight Watchers? (A
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And all those needles?
.
.Acupuncture? (A
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And all those spoons?
.
.Hypnosis? (A
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
No, no. That’s not it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Heroin.
10/20
Pop Music:
Is it a sound? or,
Is it a retail benchmark?
10/2
You know what?
Do whatever you have to do to get your $.
When you finally get it,
remember to do something special with it.
9/29
Can we all agree on one thing?
Former President Bush 43:
If he promised,
to be honest,
could write
an amazing memoir.
9/21
I think the Aztec had it right.
If I were to pray,
(and I wanted to be scientific about it)
I might pray to the Sun.
9/19
Life:
Like a reproduced Kangxi porcelain vase.
Like the water and flowers inside of it.
It is cheap,
abundant,
and fragile.
9/17
Sans Ferdinand:
The Prince of Bohemia unplanned
or, if I ever start a Franz Ferdinand cover band.
